Episode Eleven - cycle 14 recap

Posted in antm insider

So apparently I was an angel ...who fell ...and turned into a demon who then got some kind of nose job (similar to pinochio) that swelled and unswelled randomly. EPIC. Let me ask you a question. If you were living in a house filled with a bunch of girls with no TV, or movies, or internet, ...or CELL PHONES (teardrops) for a very long period of time, would you EVER talk about someone? Well, I did. However, I am very happy to say that I never fought with anyone or was real mean or nasty at all. Yes, I gossip: I'M A MEMBER OF THE FEMALE SPECIES.

I do love how they picked out the ONLY times I ever said anything about someone and aired it for this beautiful bloopers episode! And I must say that the cartoon drawings really were just beyond entertaining. I'm not going to lie....IT WAS AWESOME. lol

Naduah: Yes, she really did wear lacy, see through, barely there, teddy/thong-type, booty in your face, wearing on a honeymoon-type things to bed every night. It did catch me off guard. I remember asking her, "Isn't it uncomfortable?" Her response was; "I like to be sexy." My response "...for who?" But I must remember, "to each his (her, in this case) own". Ya gotta love her.

Jessica: Jessica didn't know where Hawaii, New Zealand, Europe (YES EUROPE) and Canada were. There was one point were she thought that Europe was on top of Canada, and New Zealand was on top of Europe. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised seeing as she "didn't know how it happened" when she was telling Tyra about getting pregnant at 16 on the first episode. If I had to describe her in one word.....I wouldn't have one. It's just Jessica. You can't NOT smile when thinking of her!

Anslee: I do believe she did this "booty dance" almost every night. I will admit that if it was a booty shaking contest, she would definitely get the gold...but Alasia might tie with her. Boyfriend's comment: "Raina, why can't you dance like that?"

But what really got me, i mean GOT ME, was when the editors showed the close-up of everyone's toenails. EEEEEEEK! I am just going to pretend that they "photoshop-ed" them that way, because that's just terrifying. No, I don't get a pedicure every week, but I do keep them looking NON-hobbit-esque.

You've Got Mail (or elephant trunk?)

THE PERFECT MAN: First of all, I have the most amazing boyfriend in the world (minus the comment above) and he does anything and everything for me. Not only is he my #1 fan, but my #1 best friend, and other half (YES IT'S CHEESY BUT ITS TRUE OKAY?!)

Anyway, I get this package in the mail and was like, "OMG!?!?! I GOT MAIL!!!" ...(seriously, i freaked out). I start pulling out "body parts" pieces of paper containing pictures such as feathers, a washboard, the country of Guam, a gold heart, etc. etc. and...AN ELEPHANT TRUNK (ahem).

There were also a choice of three heads. One was Josh Hartnett (my male celebrity crush..hehehe), Nigel Barker, Rob Pattinson, and Kristof (my boyfriend). Well, OBVIOUSLY I am going to choose Kristof's head!

There was some tape, and a little note attatched that said,

"Turn all of these pieces over and you will find that you can put them together by matching them with their other number. When finished, you will turn it over and find the perfect man. But first, you must pick a head. I know I will never be perfect, but I do know that I am perfect for you" :)

Well, on the back of each "body part" there was a saying. For example,

on the back of the two sets of feathers it said, "the perfect man must have a soft touch"

for the two countries of Guam it said, "The perfect man must be well traveled"

and for the gold heart it said, "the perfect man must have a heart of gold"

There were MANY more parts, but I won't name them all off in hopes of saving you. Well ...there was an elephant trunk, and at first I was like, "um what the heck?!..." until I flipped it over and it read, "The perfect man must have ......" And I looked up in sheer embarrassment not only to find all the girls laughing, but the camera men DYING of laughter as well! OH MY LANTA!!! Hysterical. I then hung the "perfect man" up next to the door to grace everyone that walked into my room with elephant-ness.

. . . and so ends cycle 14

Wow, this really was one of the best episodes. I thoroughly enjoy laughing...especially at myself. How can you not?!

That about wraps it all up. OH WAIT...I can't forget about the beautiful, lovely, and most classy Krista!

Dear Krista -  I love how you made something up because there wasn't anything else for you to talk about. And for you to make it regarding your looking like a drag-queen, hmmm?  I don't think you look like a drag-queen . . . I seriously think you look about as high fashion as they come. But next time you throw something out there try to make it a bit more credible.

Sincerely - your evil, horn-growing, pinochio-nosed, terrible gossiper, who writes about others being drag queens in her journal.

p.s. even though I highly doubt she did ...why would she read my journal? I must be
interesting or something! Gold Star! :)